The Tale of Haruhi, The Host Club, and the Tree
by KitKatTicTac
Summary: Once upon a time, Haruhi Fujioka found herself in quite the predicament. And who better to save her other than the former Hosts and their girlfriends? Sit back as I present to you the tale as old as time... The Tale of Haruhi, The Host Club, and the Tree.


**Hello! This was just a little quickie I thought up while trying to update my other story. I don't own Haruhi or the Host Club, but I do own the tree and the original characters. Some of it may make a little more sense if you read _Snowed In_, which will be updated as soon as I get over my writer's block. This should help with that.**

**By the way, this takes place after _Snowed In, _around the time when Haruhi's in law school.**

* * *

"Climb the tree, they said. It will be fun, they said." Haruhi grumbled over and over. Haruhi peered down through the foliage, down at her boyfriend and his brother. Hikaru looked genuinely worried, but Kaoru was cracking up.

Haruhi normally didn't have vertigo. That was the only reason she had agreed to this in the first place. It was only a thirty foot tree, right? And the breeze up there looked delicious, especially on a hot and sunny day like this. However, squirming up a near-branchless tree is easy, but squirming down is extremely difficult. Especially when the "breeze" isn't so much a "breeze" and is instead more of a hurricane. If the girl wanted to cool down, she should have taken up the twins' offer on buying her an ice cream cone.

Hauhi fidgeted, this small action causing her slouchy purple top and short shorts (courtesy of her boyfriend's mother) to snag against a branch. She grimaced, and readjusted. This time the purple ribbon headband in her long, flat ironed hair (courtesy of her boyfriend's _brother_) got caught. Perfect.

Haruhi patiently listened to Hikaru asking park passersby to help. The only reason neither of them came up on their own was because neither of them would be strong enough to carry her back down, and prolonged weight on the branch would make it snap. So coaxing her down was an out, also.

Meanwhile, at the bottom, Hikaru was unsuccessfully finding people to help. However, he was starting to hope he could find a way to get Mori to fly in from France with Amelie and just carry her down. The reason for this was the boys. The commoner, hormone-raged, teenage boys. For example, he had heard conversations along these lines at least eighty times today, in counting:

"Dang! That girl in the tree is _hot_!"

"I know, man. And this guy over here says she's stuck? How much you gonna bet if I go up there and get her, she'll wanna go out with me."

And each one of these times, Hikaru had gritted his teeth and started long and tedious arguments between himself and the boys that went something like this:

"Actually, she's already my girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, is that right?"

"That's right."

"Well guess what? Once I go up there and save her, she'll be _my _girlfriend."

"Go ahead and try, but she's too good for _roturier _like you." Here, Hikaru inwardly thanked Amelie for teaching him how to say "commoner" in French. It made him sound more superior.

"Ooh, so scared! Well, what makes you think that _you're _better for her than I am, huh, princess?"

"Well, let's see, I've been with her for four years now, you just now saw her, she chose me over all the guys that were in love with her, she hangs out with bluebloods, she's wearing designer clothing and you're dressed in that hideous skater outfit. Not to mention I'm rich, and, oh, look, you're not."

That usually got rid of the boys. On the downside, though, it got rid of a chance to help Haruhi. Screw it, he'd rather have her stuck up in a tree than having all those nasty boys lusting after her. He was wondering what to do when he heard a familiar voice.

* * *

Haruhi was starting to get annoyed. Not at the tree, but at the conversations she was hearing at the base. Those boys honestly thought she would date them after they played Superman and Lois Lane? Well, she already had a boyfriend whom she loved and cared for, getting her off a stupid _branch _wouldn't change that. Sure, she'd be grateful, but she wouldn't drop Hikaru for someone she didn't even know the name of.

She chuckled to herself. She was starting to get a bit smug. She really did hang out with rich people too much.

A voice snapped her out of her musings. A female's, so she was a bit relieved, until she realized this girl would probably be after Hikaru. However, after a few words and ineloquent English, she was back to relieved.

"Hikaru?" Amelie tilted her head, her green eyes analyzing and her silver-bell voice rich with concern and a French-accented croon. "What are you doing here? Is there a, ah... is there _quelque chose vous tracasse_?"

Hikaru didn't exactly know what this meant, but deducing from the situation at hand, he figured she was asking if something was wrong. He blushed and sheepishly pointed a finger up the tree.

"Yeah. Um... look up there."

Amelie looked up and her eyes widened. She cussed in at least twenty different languages, then apologized for her unladylike manner in French.

"Haruhi! What are you doing up there? Come down, sweetheart, you could get hurt!"

"That's the problem," Hikaru muttered. "She's stuck."

"Oh. _Oh_." Amelie giggled a little bit in understanding. "So you and Kaoru got her stuck? Well, in that case, I can just call Takashi. The two of us came back from France early."

"Really? How come?"

"We just felt like it."

Hikaru smirked.

"Understandable."

Amelie dug through her handbag. _Designer_, Hikaru noted. He quickly surveyed the rest of her outfit. She was wearing a vintage looking white sundress with little cherry prints on it. The hem was green with white polka dots, and so were the straps and the sweetheart neckline. The silky fabric fell just above her knee. She had on red kitten heels with hearts on straps. _Because I come from the City of Love_, she had told the Host Club when they had once asked her why she wore hearts all the time. Her lipstick was a dramatic red that suited her, and her curly honey gold hair was held back with a ribbon designed like the hems on her dress: green with white polka dots. All in all, Hikaru approved. A small part of that approval was because she was directing the attention away from Haruhi, and attracting more longing stares.

"Aha! I found it, Hikaru!" Amelie triumphantly beamed and held out her phone. Her fingernails were painted the same red shade as her lipstick and the cherries on her dress. Hikaru breathed out a sigh of relief: they could finally find a way to get Haruhi out of that stupid tree.

Amelie dialed the number. She frowned disapprovingly when it went to voicemail. It was almost as if she were imagining the chastisement she was going to give Mori about keeping his phone on.

"He did not answer. I am sorry. He might be practicing, or at a business meeting."

Hikaru scowled. He was annoyed, but it was impossible to be irked at Mori's girlfriend. His annoyance was more directed towards his senior.

"It's alright, Amelie. It's not your fault. Can you call Kyoya-senpai, though? I left my phone with... Kaoru!"

Hikaru frantically looked around. Where had his brother gone?

"Kaoru? Kaoru!" Hikaru wailed and started to wander off before Amelie's small hand pulled him back.

"It's alright, he just went to get some ice cream."

Hikaru calmed down enough for Amelie to let go and call Kyoya.

"Kyoya? Hello! Yes, I know it's eleven in the morning. It's Amelie..."

Hikaru smirked and listened as she explained the situation to the Shadow King. Of course Kyoya wasn't mad, it was Amelie he was speaking to. She was quite lovable.

"And that's how Haruhi got stuck in a tree! I think. Yes, I would appreciate it if you would come over. What? No, don't add to Haruhi's debt! It was entirely... alright, I suppose it _was _her that went up there, but the twins made her. I'll cover any expenses myself, please. Twenty minutes? That will be just fine. Yes. _Au revoir_, Kyoya!"

Amelie hung up and opened her mouth to speak. Kaoru beat her to it, however, appearing out of nowhere with three ice cream cones in hand.

"Hey, Amelie! So you called the Shadow King, huh? You do realize he was probably sleeping before you called. He's gonna be really annoyed with you."

Amelie shrugged.

"He did not sound annoyed. He actually offered."

Kaoru stared in horror.

"_How _on _Earth _did you... You know what, never mind. If you managed to get the sofa to smile, then of course you can get the puppeteer to wake up."

Amelie tilted her head quizzically.

"The... the sofa? But sofas do not live..."

"Just ignore it, Amelie." Hikaru quipped, shooting a glare at his brother. Of course Amelie didn't know that her boyfriend was often referred to as a piece of furniture. Particularly a sofa.

Kaoru and Amelie took a seat on a park bench, while Hikaru opted to pace nervously. Despite the ogling man next to her, and the flirting girl next to him, Amelie and Kaoru remained still as statues, hands folded on their laps. Their eyes followed Hikaru back and forth as people complained about him moving around too much.

Finally, a sleek black limo pulled up next to the park. This distracted the naggers on the sidewalk who were whining about Hikaru's pacing. Everyone was now oohing and ahh-ing at the limo, even more so when a certain raven-haired twenty-one year old stepped out. He pushed up his glasses, smoothed out his business suit, and strode towards his friend.

"So this is it?" Kyoya Ootori frowned up disapprovingly at the offending tree, as if doing so would make it bend over and gently place Haruhi back on the ground.

"Kyoya-senpai!" Haruhi shouted from the top of the tree. "I can't get down!"

By now there was a crowd gathering at the base. Who was this newcomer, and why was he shouting at a girl in a tree?

"Oh! I think I recognize him," a teenage girl said from somewhere in the crowd. "He was on the Most Wanted Bachelors of the World list in a magazine I read. Akito Ootori, I think."

"Wrong one," Kaoru muttered under his breath.

"Wrong one!" Someone in the crowd echoed Kaoru. "He's still an Ootori, though."

"Yoshio?"

"Fuyumi?"

"Fuyumi's a girl! And Yoshio's his dad!"

"Yuuchi, then?"

"No, you idiot! Kyoya! You know, the heir?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"He must be rich!"

People kept whispering to one another, arguing mostly about whether Kyoya was a bachelor or not. Technically, he was, since he wasn't married, but then again, he wasn't, since he had a girlfriend. It was Ren or Rin or something. These people were horrible with names.

"Hang on, aren't those two twins the Hitachiin brothers? Now I can pinpoint their faces! They were on the list, too!"

"That Host Club that they were in, all of them made it onto the list. Except for the girl, obviously."

"The girl in the tree! Harumi Fujionka!"

"Haru_hi_ Fuji_oka_, not _onka_." Hikaru snipped haughtily. These commoners were starting to get on his nerves.

"Oh my gosh! He _talked _to me!"

Kyoya chose to ignore the squeals of the crowds. He shouted up to Haruhi.

"Haruhi, at least try to come down!"

"I can't! It's too windy!"

Kyoya cursed under his breath. She was right. Someone more coordinated would have to go up and get her. It couldn't be him, since this suit cost him so much Haruhi would faint if she saw the price tag. And if he went back home to change, he would probably fall asleep and leave Haruhi in the tree. He growled and grudgingly reached into his pocket to call a particular blonde idiot. His friends watched him curiously.

"Hello, Suoh Tamaki speaking."

"Tamaki, you need to get down here."

"Oh, Kyoya, how come? Is something wrong? Did you fall down the stairs? Did Haruhi get kidnapped? Did—"

Kyoya handed the phone to Amelie. She giggled behind her hand.

"Kyoya? Why did you just giggle? And why did it sound so girlish?"

Amelie started speaking with Tamaki in French, and she had to hold the phone away from her ear after she told him Haruhi was stuck up in a tree. He was screaming and shouting, and she barely managed not to break her eardrums. She wrinkled her nose and bade Tamaki goodbye, then hung up.

"Tamaki said he'd be here in... oh look, he's here."

Another car was pulling up, this one leaning a bit more to the party limo side than the professional businessman one. The Hosts knew from experience that the interior had a bar, a full wooden walkway, couches, a TV, neon wall runners, and multicolored lights embedded into the ceiling.

Tamaki didn't even wait for the driver to open his door. He instead opted for running out of the limo in a panicked frenzy, tie undone and the top of his hair a mess from pacing around in the low ceilings of the limousine.

"Haruhi! Where's Haruhi? Oh, my dear girl, daddy'll come save you!"

He had obviously fallen asleep in his work clothes from the night before.

Tamaki ran through a group of swooning girls and jealous boys, before stopping at the base of the tree.

"Don't worry, Haruhi! I'll save you!"

A few of the girls in the crowd sighed contentedly.

"He's so noble..."

"Just like a knight in shining armor..."

"I'm so jealous of that Haruhi girl!"

Tamaki wrapped his arms around the tree and started to climb. Unfortunately, he didn't even make it halfway up. Or a fourth. Or an eighth. He wailed and apologized profusely to Haruhi, who just rolled her eyes. At that point, Amelie's ringtone (House at Pooh Corner) decided to play. "_Christopher Robin and I walked along under branches lit up by the moon..._" Everyone facepalmed. What an ironic ringtone, when Haruhi obviously wasn't "under branches." Amelie just grinned sheepishly and answered.

"_Bonjour_! Oh, Takashi! I told you to always leave your phone on. Yes, it's alright. I only called a little while ago because Haruhi is stuck up in a tree. She still is. Do you think you can come help? Of course you may bring Honey. Yes. _Au revoir, amoureux_!"

Amelie beamed and relayed the conversation to the former Hosts.

"He said he will be coming soon. He was practicing kendo, so his phone was off."

Hikaru gave a sigh in relief, while Tamaki started tearing his hair out.

"WHAT? How come Mori-senpai gets to rescue Haruhi?"

"Because _you _couldn't, you moron." Kyoya slapped Tamaki upside the head. Tamaki started with the melodramatics.

"Oh! Mommy's so mean!" He blubbered.

Amelie and Kaoru resumed their previous places on the bench and pretended to people watch, really just watching Tamaki argue with Kyoya. Finally, a car that was much less extravagant than the other two appeared. The red Ferrari pulled up, and people anxiously tried to peer through the tinted windows to see who was coming out next. Maybe it was another man from the Most Wanted Bachelors list?

The people weren't disappointed.

The two world-renown martial artists stepped out. The tall twenty-two year old and his shorter blonde friend shut the doors to the front seats behind them. The taller one slipped on his sunglasses and strode over to his girlfriend.

"Amelie." Takashi Morinozuka smiled down at the girl and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"_Bonjour_, Takashi!"

"Ami-chan!" Honey bounded over to his cousin's girlfriend and hugged her. "So, when are you gonna make me another cake?"

"_Bonjour_, Honey! I am not sure. I can buy you an ice cream, however, as soon as we get Haruhi down."

"Yay!"

"Mitsukuni. Don't impose."

"No, it's alright, Takashi. It would be my pleasure. Now, Haruhi is up there."

Amelie pointed a finger up the tree. Both cousins' heads turned upwards.

"Oh! Haru-chan! Come down so I can get my ice cream!"

Haruhi massaged her temples. Great. Now the entire Host Club was here, and Rin was pulling up, as well. Kyoya must have called her at one point. Rin would never let her hear the end of this little escapade. Haruhi would probably be the target for paparazzi now, also. She got enough attention just by being Hikaru's girlfriend, but getting some of the most influential businessmen in the world (also known as "World's Most Wanted Bachelors") and their girlfriends to come and help her? She wouldn't even be able to change in peace.

"Hello, Kyoya! You gave me a call?" Rin tucked her phone away.

"Yes. Look up there."

Rin furrowed her brows in confusion but looked up anyway.

"Whaat? Is that my dearest little Haruhi up there? What a brave adventure you've gone on!"

"Actually, she's stuck." Kaoru smirked.

"Oh. A twenty year old law student stuck up in a tree and some of the world's most influential businessmen trying to get her down. Now I've seen it all."

"Any ideas on how to get her down?" Amelie bit her bottom lip.

"None. Unless someone can go up and get her. The branch she's on is the only one that looks like it can be strong enough to hold two people. So she'd have to climb onto someone's back."

"Takashi can do it!" Honey said enthusiastically.

"That would be a good idea." Kyoya said. "What do you think, Mori-senpai?"

"Amelie?"

"That would be fine, Takashi. You're the only one strong enough, and the only one who's, ah... dressed for the occasion."

It was true. Mori was the only one not wearing a business suit, other than Amelie, Honey, and the twins. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt tucked into his leather-belted, faded denim jeans. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone, causing any girl over the age of thirteen to squeal.

Mori took off his sunglasses and took his phone, wallet, and notepad out of his pocket, then handed them to Amelie.

"I'm coming up to get you, Haruhi!" Mori shouted, uncharacteristically loud.

"Please hurry, Mori-senpai! My arms are starting to hurt!"

Mori gripped the tree and started climbing up like a sloth. He finally reached the branch where his friend was. Haruhi looked like a deer in the headlights.

The crowds at the bottom watched anxiously as Mori tried to coax Haruhi onto his back. After a solid five minutes, she crawled her way over and latched on. He dropped a little bit at the added weight, but regained his grasp on the bark and slowly made his way back down.

It took at least ten minutes for the two of them to get down, but when they did, the onlookers applauded. A few news vans had actually arrived at the scene, which Haruhi had thought was unbelievably stupid.

As she answered questions and signed autographs with the rest of her friends (what in the world?) she wandered over to Hikaru, who smile fondly down at her.

"Remind me to never make you climb again."

* * *

"I cannot believe you remember that!" Amelie raised an eyebrow and twisted around her wedding ring. "That was at least three years ago."

"It wasn't really a tale, Haruhi. It was more of an unfortunate happening that attracted a lot of attention." Rin took a sip of her coffee.

"That's an understatement." Haruhi smirked at her friends. Their husbands were all on business trips or at meetings, and they had been at a ladies' brunch at the local cafe when Haruhi had brought up the tree incident. "It made national news, and to this day I'm still known as 'That Girl in the Tree.'"

Rin shrugged.

"I suppose you're right. Hey, do they serve ice cream at this place?"

"Ice cream..." Amelie pouted contemplatively. "The story you just told, and ice cream... They form a thought I cannot place my finger on. Oh, yes," The green-eyed girl gave a small smile. "I still owe Honey an ice cream."

* * *

**I think this proves my writing style just doesn't allow humor. -_-**

**This is a little spinoff story to my other story, _Snowed __In._ I'm having writer's block with that one, so I decided to write this one instead. This takes place _after Snowed In_ and features the Hosts' girlfriends. By the way, I still need ideas for the other Hosts' partners, other than Hikaru, Kyoya, and Mori. If any of you don't understand this, go ahead and read _Snowed __In _and I promise it will make much more sense.**

**Also, if you need/want to use my OCs, please do so. Just PM me a link to your story and tell me which one you are using. I have more OCs in the epilogue of _Snowed In_, so if you don't like Rin or Amelie (T_T) then you can find another one, or make up your own, obviously.  
**

**As for _Snowed In_, I will get that updated soon. Please vote on the poll in my profile.**

**So I'll end this installment of _The Tale of Haruhi, The Host Club, and the Tree _with my usual message (-1)...**

**REVIEW!**

**~Kit~**


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